The Evolution of One Section

Now that we're near the end of the editing, I find it encouraging to look back over the evolution of this book and see how far it has come. I thought it might be interesting to look at one section in its different stages of development. This is a section from Chapter Eight, "Growing in Grace: Vivification."

The Outline (8/26/2008)

Be Ravished by Mercy
Offer Your Body for the Worship of God
Surrender
Edwards
Wesley
Calvin
Owen
Self-denial
Calvin
Don’t be conformed
Be Transformed Through Renewing the Mind
To the heart, through the mind
Packer
Realize the good, perfect, acceptable will of God

As you can see, this is a very schematic outline of Romans 12:1-2, the passage this section of the chapter is based on. The single words in the subheadings (Surrender, Edwards, Wesley, etc.) were cues for themes to develop or quotations and illustrations to use.

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Adjusting the order of subsections

In part of Chapter 7, the draft had twelve subsections designed to help the reader get a better handle on mortification. Whenever I come upon a list of any significant length like this, red flags go up, because in my experience such sections can nearly always be improved by reordering and/or the introduction of subcategories.

I began by writing out the headings on a pad, not even reading (for this pass) any of the associated text. First I labeled each heading as being more in the nature of attitude/knowledge, or more in the nature of practice/application. Then within those categories I tried to put the items into some sort of logical and helpful progression. The result is shown below, original order on the left and new on the right.

I will not be surprised if line editing results in some further changes; Brian has wondered if this might be an area where consolidation or elimination of some categories could help shorten the chapter.

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Wordsmithing, Part 2: Introduction to Chapter 7

Here's another effort at succinctly representing edits without providing a confusing amount of detail. Toward that end, I'm also leaving out some minor edits to a few paragraphs.

Key:

Blue text is Brian's draft

Orange text represents my current edit (which may change even before it goes back to Brian for his review)

Grey highlight means text was deleted

Yellow highlight means text was moved aside and may appear elsewhere in the chapter.

I thought the idea of sin as a wild animal was worth unpacking a little, offering the reader a longer and more interesting introduction while extending and deepening the teaching content. As with other edit samples I have shared in this blog, some of what appears as "my" text are Brian's ideas moved forward from later in the chapter. Any or all of what appears below may change after Brian sees it.

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Wordsmithing, Part 1: Line editing & rewriting

This link will take you to the first of five images. Use the right-hand arrow to see images two through five. Following up on this post, these screen captures show the results of basic before-and-after line editing using the compare function in MS Word. The original text that was eliminated shows strikeout and is highlighted in gray. New text is underscored, although a fair amount of this text was Brian's which I moved from elsewhere in the chapter. Remaining original text is plain. Brian now has the final from this process and may make additional edits.

For anyone unfamiliar with the book-editing process, let me note that after Brian and I have completely finished our work, this text is still going to be copyedited and proofread for basic grammatical and typographical errors. So, as an editor, while I do pay some attention to these as a matter of course, they are not top-of-mind matters for me at this stage of the process. Knowing that others are going to do a final cleaning up of the text frees me to focus on more strategic communication goals.

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The practical challenges of displaying before-and-after edits

I want to try to show some initial edits I did recently on chapter 2. Here are two versions of the first three paragraphs of the chapter. First is the original text, followed by my partial edit.

ORIGINAL TEXT
Some of my favorite stories are about characters who find themselves transported from this world to another through a magical object. Lucy walks through the wardrobe into Narnia. Milo enters The Lands Beyond through a tollbooth. Alice pushes her way through the bright silvery mist of a mirror into Looking Glass Room. Neo leaves the Matrix by taking the red pill and going down the rabbit hole. In each adventure, the protagonist discovers in a seemingly ordinary object a portal into a new world.

As we saw in chapter one, we are transformed as we gaze upon the glory of God revealed in Jesus Christ in the gospel. Like Lucy’s wardrobe or Alice’s mirror, the gospel is a portal into the new world of life in the Spirit. When we gaze upon and enter God’s new world through the gospel, we are changed.

And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit. (2 Cor. 3:18)

PARTIAL EDIT

Some of my favorite stories are about characters who find themselves transported into an extraordinary world through something which at first appears perfectly commonplace. Lucy walks through a neglected old wardrobe into Narnia. Milo enters The Lands Beyond through a tollbooth. Alice pushes her way through a mirror into Looking Glass Room. Neo leaves the Matrix by taking the red pill. In each adventure, something ordinary becomes a portal into a new world.

As we saw in chapter one, the most astonishing and transformative portal of all is the gospel. By what at first seem to be mere words, we encounter a truth that can change us forever. Gazing upon the glory of God revealed in Jesus Christ through this gospel, a power takes hold that is far beyond the mechanism of the words themselves. That power is the Spirit of God.

And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit. (2 Cor. 3:18)

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Click on this link for an image showing a side-by-side view of the before-and-after edits of the full seven-paragraph excerpt. The link takes you to a Picasa page. If you have a fairly large monitor, try clicking on the full-screen icon; it may give you a clearer view.

If anyone has suggestions for a better way to present the side-by-side comparisons please email me (kevinmeath on Google's email service) or comment. Thanks.

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