Cut & Paste: Recent email exchanges

Brian wrote on 10/15/2009 regarding Chapter 4:
Okay – here’s a substantially revised version of chapter four. I threw out the introduction and the final section of the chapter, moved a middle section to the front to create a new introduction (which I’m not sure I’m happy with – are you?), smoothed out some transitions, retitled a couple of subsections, inserted most of the material on indwelling sin from chapter seven, and added a (hopefully) clarifying chart showing the relationship between our position and practice in Christ. This revision completely changed the set up of the chapter. It’s now not focused on a problem (whether legalism or license, though I mention the latter), but on how we are to take the resources of the gospel (positional sanctification/union with Christ) and apply them to our lives by “living in sync with the gospel” (progressive transformation). I’ll be curious to see your critique. I’m sure it still needs work!

Brian wrote on 10/16/2009 regarding Chapter 4:
This is slightly revised from what I sent yesterday. I clarified the chart to use the same language (once-for-all-ongoing, definitive events vs. ongoing, personal, practice) that I revisit in chapter 6. Here’s one more idea that I’ve had – should we consider swapping around chapters 4 and 5? There’s a very key link between 4 and 6. But on the other hand, there’s also a key link between 3 and 4. Chapter five, while important, seems somewhat out of the logical flow of the argument. Have you noticed this? Do you think it matters?

Kevin replied on 10/20/2009 regarding chapter sequencing :
As you suggested, I think I am inclined to reverse the order of chapters 4 and 5. That would give us the following progression:

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Adjusting the order of subsections

In part of Chapter 7, the draft had twelve subsections designed to help the reader get a better handle on mortification. Whenever I come upon a list of any significant length like this, red flags go up, because in my experience such sections can nearly always be improved by reordering and/or the introduction of subcategories.

I began by writing out the headings on a pad, not even reading (for this pass) any of the associated text. First I labeled each heading as being more in the nature of attitude/knowledge, or more in the nature of practice/application. Then within those categories I tried to put the items into some sort of logical and helpful progression. The result is shown below, original order on the left and new on the right.

I will not be surprised if line editing results in some further changes; Brian has wondered if this might be an area where consolidation or elimination of some categories could help shorten the chapter.

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A Very Invigorating and Enjoyable Experience

Yesterday I spent six or seven hours working through the edits and rewrites Kevin recommended for chapters two and three. It was exciting for me to see how Kevin's suggestions helped me reshape content (especially in chapter three, which is more theologically dense than most of the other chapters) in ways that will make it more accessible to the reader.

Kevin had already moved some stuff around to clarify the flow of thought (see the elusive goal of linearity). But this, along with some of his suggested rewrites, helped me see ways to make the chapter even better by (i) simplifying an overly technical section of the chapter that needlessly introduced new theological concepts and (ii) making the final 1/4 of the chapter more concrete in application.

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Wordsmithing, Part 1: Line editing & rewriting

This link will take you to the first of five images. Use the right-hand arrow to see images two through five. Following up on this post, these screen captures show the results of basic before-and-after line editing using the compare function in MS Word. The original text that was eliminated shows strikeout and is highlighted in gray. New text is underscored, although a fair amount of this text was Brian's which I moved from elsewhere in the chapter. Remaining original text is plain. Brian now has the final from this process and may make additional edits.

For anyone unfamiliar with the book-editing process, let me note that after Brian and I have completely finished our work, this text is still going to be copyedited and proofread for basic grammatical and typographical errors. So, as an editor, while I do pay some attention to these as a matter of course, they are not top-of-mind matters for me at this stage of the process. Knowing that others are going to do a final cleaning up of the text frees me to focus on more strategic communication goals.

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The elusive goal of linearity

For the kind of book Brian has written, it is important to make your arguments essentially linear. This raises a challenge that is particularly acute for speakers or preachers who become authors: Reiterating points made previously, or foreshadowing points yet to come, may quite often be a good approach when speaking. It is rarely the best approach when presenting the same material in written form.

I came upon an example of this in editing chapter 3, a discussion of justification. Brian had come to a place where he was making three sub-points about justification:

• Justification is legal in nature
• Justification is declarative in function
• Justification concerns our status before God

Having been at this kind of work for a while, I know it is going to be extremely difficult to write this section in a way that really teases the points apart to make them distinct from one another.

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