Wordsmithing, Part 2: Introduction to Chapter 7

Here's another effort at succinctly representing edits without providing a confusing amount of detail. Toward that end, I'm also leaving out some minor edits to a few paragraphs.

Key:

Blue text is Brian's draft

Orange text represents my current edit (which may change even before it goes back to Brian for his review)

Grey highlight means text was deleted

Yellow highlight means text was moved aside and may appear elsewhere in the chapter.

I thought the idea of sin as a wild animal was worth unpacking a little, offering the reader a longer and more interesting introduction while extending and deepening the teaching content. As with other edit samples I have shared in this blog, some of what appears as "my" text are Brian's ideas moved forward from later in the chapter. Any or all of what appears below may change after Brian sees it.

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First Draft of Introduction

Ten days ago Kevin asked me to write an introduction to the book that answers as least some of the following questions:

• What, exactly, is this book about?
• How is it differentiated from other, similar books?
• Why should I read this book and not any one of 1000 other books on the Christian life?
• What will I gain from reading it?
• Will my benefit be worth the cost?
• Is this author able to connect with me through clear and straightforward writing?
• Does he seem to know what he is talking about?
• Does he have reasonable credentials to write on this subject?
• Do I feel welcomed into this book?
• Is the author going to lecture me or encourage me? (Does he motivate by grace?)

I have been waiting for a quiet afternoon free from other responsibilities to tackle this. But around noon today, several ideas came to mind, so I started writing and worked on the intro sporadically throughout the day. Nine hours and 1600 words later, my first draft is complete.

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